thatsthefrailtyofgenius:

sometimes i wonder what would have happened if dylan hadn’t gone into acting

and i realise… he’d probably be a famous youtuber and we’d all be even more screwed

(Source: daydreamer--captain-weirdo)

554,670 notes

hotboyproblems:

oomshi:

zackisontumblr:

mymaispace:

Petition to make zackisontumblr the tumblr mascot

WHAT TEAM?

how many fingers can you stick in your bhole zack

WILDCATS

10,291 notes

sebastian-cock:

My talents include being able to identify every one of the 5000 songs on my iPod by the first chord and eating more than the rest of my family combined

353,196 notes

dunebat:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
BE.

Wow.

dunebat:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

Wow.

(Source: agirlandhisplatypus)

648,312 notes

I hope you kiss me really hard when I see you.
Unknown (via teenageblog)

(Source: we-should-fuck-now-that-i)

282,243 notes

fiyhi:

patron-de-los-santos:

mcdamnright:

So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.

image

I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.

image

Then I was like “No.”

well no wonder why it was in the thrift store

but shit it was 99 cents

349,905 notes

myutsuu:

this is the wrongest thing

myutsuu:

this is the wrongest thing

(Source: boobgal11)

97,153 notes

drakefanclub:

whoever made these is going to jail. i aint playin games here

106,512 notes

vinebox:

Mamas will look around the whole room until they find something to fuss about

80,424 notes

rosesandpizza96:

make-out-not-war:

-annoying:

human:

meladoodle:

this is bullshit

i hate this so much

fuck

ew

AH

rosesandpizza96:

make-out-not-war:

-annoying:

human:

meladoodle:

this is bullshit

i hate this so much

fuck

ew

AH

(Source: meladoodle)

111,583 notes

glitteratikittens:

inumaru12:

askcredus:

the-tenth:

image

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! DX

The laugh I just did probably was my evilest laugh yet.

This is the worst thing ive ever seen.

(Source: tsundereonion)

229,636 notes

ace-vibez:

fandom-universe:

kungfucarrie:

The most dangerous phrase in the language is, “we’ve always done it this way.”

"Come on, let’s mix it up!" The heart surgeon says.
"B-but we’ve always done it this way!" The other replies, "this is how you replace a heart valve."
"That’s the most dangerous phrase in the human language!" The first surgeon replies haughtily as he inputs a fruit loop into the patient’s heart. "This will be his valve. He will be a fruit loop in a world of Cheerios."

That comment is the only acceptable response to this quote

ace-vibez:

fandom-universe:

kungfucarrie:

The most dangerous phrase in the language is, “we’ve always done it this way.”

"Come on, let’s mix it up!" The heart surgeon says.

"B-but we’ve always done it this way!" The other replies, "this is how you replace a heart valve."

"That’s the most dangerous phrase in the human language!" The first surgeon replies haughtily as he inputs a fruit loop into the patient’s heart. "This will be his valve. He will be a fruit loop in a world of Cheerios."

That comment is the only acceptable response to this quote

(Source: uvmsemba)

200,299 notes