foodthatlookslikeiggyazalea:

Iggy Azalea and Classic Ranch Dressing

2,781 notes

  • Cop: Have you been drinking?
  • Me: I been drankin'
  • Cop: Surfbort
  • Me: Surfbort

168,284 notes

kissedthystones:

I’m just trying to get lunch, not have an existential crisis.

kissedthystones:

I’m just trying to get lunch, not have an existential crisis.

256,651 notes

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo)

1,052,833 notes

katarakarate:

definitelynotsatan:

seerofsarcasm:

oliviatheelf:

The saddest thing is that most people will find this humorous instead of serious. We’re standing right beside one another, and yet we text others instead of actually speaking to each other. Have you ever sat down and thought about how uncomfortable we now are around one another that it’s so bad that we literally pretend to be texting someone when we’re not, just so it’s less awkward to stand beside people? What’s supposed to strengthen our bonds has taken away from it. It’s time to take our faces out of our phones and notice the world, give a kind gesture to someone, and go SEE your friends instead of just texting them.
I’m going to let that sink in.

Ah yes let me just up and leave school right in between my classes so I can go see the friend 40 miles away that i’m currently texting instead of making idle chit chat with the people around me that I don’t particularly care for.Fuck your pretentious shit.


"whines evil technology is making people antisocial its not real communication if its not face to face and im a pretentious self righteous shitbaby that asks random people on the street for the time and feels good about it"

katarakarate:

definitelynotsatan:

seerofsarcasm:

oliviatheelf:

The saddest thing is that most people will find this humorous instead of serious. We’re standing right beside one another, and yet we text others instead of actually speaking to each other. Have you ever sat down and thought about how uncomfortable we now are around one another that it’s so bad that we literally pretend to be texting someone when we’re not, just so it’s less awkward to stand beside people? What’s supposed to strengthen our bonds has taken away from it. It’s time to take our faces out of our phones and notice the world, give a kind gesture to someone, and go SEE your friends instead of just texting them.

I’m going to let that sink in.

Ah yes let me just up and leave school right in between my classes so I can go see the friend 40 miles away that i’m currently texting instead of making idle chit chat with the people around me that I don’t particularly care for.

Fuck your pretentious shit.

image

"whines evil technology is making people antisocial its not real communication if its not face to face and im a pretentious self righteous shitbaby that asks random people on the street for the time and feels good about it"

137,931 notes

unimportant:

ninjagreen99:

ograes:

whovian-hetalian:

clarkkftw:

teamaequitas:

0hmykaty:

wearealljustrunaways:

savisintheclouds:

I literally felt like I did not have a choice.

Robin Williams says reblog, you reblog. 

…okay.

did i even really have a choice?

okay robin williams
i hesitated for a second and then considered the repercussions

just gonna reblog…

okk

already 400,00 notes

Sad

unimportant:

ninjagreen99:

ograes:

whovian-hetalian:

clarkkftw:

teamaequitas:

0hmykaty:

wearealljustrunaways:

savisintheclouds:

I literally felt like I did not have a choice.

Robin Williams says reblog, you reblog. 

…okay.

did i even really have a choice?

okay robin williams

i hesitated for a second and then considered the repercussions

just gonna reblog…

okk

already 400,00 notes

Sad

866,876 notes

orangewave:

sagethenate:

orangewave:

i mean really, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid

the little mermaid

fucking christ

427,485 notes

subtleromance:

psyducked:

stunningpicture:

Failed panoramic.

oh, you know, just casually photographing the apocalypse

This is incredible

subtleromance:

psyducked:

stunningpicture:

Failed panoramic.

oh, you know, just casually photographing the apocalypse

This is incredible

181,847 notes

hellapugs:

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

hellapugs:

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

450,700 notes

awwww-cute:

My friend’s chubby puppy likes to sit like this

awwww-cute:

My friend’s chubby puppy likes to sit like this

194,759 notes

weloveshortvideos:

When you tryna reach the word count on an essay

579 notes